Rage boiling like water in a heated pot,

Can’t turn it off.

Pressure in my head, think it might burst.

Stars shine even in the daytime

Brighter than the sun.

My knuckles bleed when I punch the walls,

But it doesn’t relieve the pressure

Because the faces I want to bash

Remain clean and twisted with scowls.

• 

• 

I broke the mirrors in my room and the bathroom.

Don’t believe in bad luck.

Can’t stand what I see

But can’t run from myself.

If I could make them bleed,

Things would get better.

I could relieve the pressure in my head,

Push the stars into the night,

But my feet can’t cross the line;

A force field keeps me from getting to them.

But they cross over to me all the time.

The world boxes me in,

Can’t find my way out.

Life is a dream,

Can’t wake up.

I work but get nowhere.

Don’t know where I want to go;

Don’t know what I want to do.

Can’t see pass the stars,

Can’t feel beyond the pressure,

Can’t stop the pot from boiling.

Water evaporates after a while,

Rage does not.

It spills over,

Spreads like a contagion.

Yesterday I struck her for the first time,

My knuckle splitting open the flesh

Right above her cheek.

It was not her blood I desired,

But

I exhaled

As the pressure relieved,

The stars dimmed.

And though I am genuinely sorry I hurt her,

I know it will not be the last time.

I did not tell her this, of course.

Couldn’t admit it aloud to myself.

She would leave me if she knew.

And if she is gone,

Who will relieve the pressure?

The other day I saw her admiring a Michael Kors purse at the mall.

It will eat a great portion of my check,

But I’ll get it for her.

I will make her forget her pain,

Then she will stay.

The price will be steep

But I will pay anything to

Push the stars into the night,

Awake from this perpetual dream…

And cool the boiling pot.

©D.L. Lunsford