What does a woman with a mother’s heart do when she finds out she is barren, she cannot have children? Barrenness makes a woman feel useless, purposeless, and inadequate. She feels less than a woman. Even is she didn’t want children to begin with, the discovery still does something to her–on the inside; her choice was taken away.
Personally, I didn’t have a problem with having children. My womb was so blessed I begged God to close it. But spiritually I discovered I was barren. My leaves were full and green, but I fell short of my potential. I learned I didn’t need fruit to survive; I needed fruit to live. There is a difference.
Because I grew up in the hood, I learned the way of the streets. What would be considered a horror to others was actually quite normal to me. So it was appalling to me the day God opened my eyes to the concrete insanity I called home. I saw it in its true form, then He told me I was more than what I had become.
It was then I knew I was lost and it depressed me. I couldn’t find the way out the hood; I didn’t have an example or a hero. I didn’t personally know anyone who’d made it out. But God made a way for me. He got me out the hood…and got the hood out of me.
He showed me the truth because He wanted to change my life.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free– That’s a promise from God. When He reveals something to you, He’s about to make a change in your life…if you’re willing. He doesn’t just diagnose a problem; He’s a problem solver.
So I realized He showed me I was barren because He wanted to make me fruitful. He certainly got my attention when I recognized I wouldn’t bear fruit without Him.
The disciples asked Jesus about a blind man. They wanted to know whether it was his sin or his parents’ that made him blind. Jesus patiently explained that it was neither the man nor his parents that had sinned. His blindness was merely an opportunity to manifest the works of God in him.
Likewise, I spent a great deal of time believing I wasn’t doing something right or not doing enough. Maybe my faith was weak, maybe I just didn’t want it bad enough. Or maybe I was letting fear rob me. All this time I believed it was me. But I was not barren because I was lazy, stubborn, or sinful. It was not my fault.
Still, I pushed myself, gave it all I had…and came up short.
After you’ve done all you can, just stand.
God opens your eyes to your state, not to make you angry, to accuse or condemn you. Not to belittle or discourage you. Change is on the way.
It may be He is using your barrenness for His glory…to manifest His works in you. Could be He withheld your fruit for such a time as this.