If I knew then what I know now things could be different
but I know it’d be the same
Cuz you’ve always been an unquenchable fire
and a consuming flame.
You are my crazed obsession
that brings me to my knees;
though it might kill me
I don’t want a cure for this disease.
I should’ve known then when our paths crossed
at the right time, same place
how tight your game was
when that silly smile spread across your cocky face.
You said from the time you saw me
you knew we were destined to be,
But I paid you no attention
because you were too damn young for me.
But you laughed it off
and pursued me while I ran,
And I enjoyed the chase saying,
“Catch me if you can.”
You slowed me down some
the night you massaged my feet.
Though my eyes rolled to the back of my head,
I didn’t yet know you had me beat.
From then on you were killing me softly
slowly getting into my head
Especially when you didn’t push or pry–
you just held me tightly all night in my bed.
Then one night you proved yourself a man
with inches more than eight.
The size of you made me so cock-eyed
I couldn’t see straight.
My heart fell to the floor with fear,
I felt a throb and a slight twitch;
With every flick of your tongue and thrust of your hip,
I became your ride-or-die b–.
We didn’t go out– just kicked it at home,
got high and chilled;
And I didn’t mind it one bit
because of how you made me feel.
You knew I was down
and your game was still air tight
even when you did sh– that was wrong
and especially when we fight.
I’ve been called a fool because of you
and I readily agree
because every time we fight I think
this time you might actually kill me.
Then with fierce anger and a painful groan
I promise myself I’ll leave your crazy ass alone,
But my heart laughs and says,
“Girl, you know that’s a lie.
You his ride-or-die b–
though he makes you cry.”
Sometimes I think you are a forbidden fruit
I should’ve left on the tree,
But hell, I can’t tell the difference–
Did I take a bite out of you or did you bite a plug out of me?
It’s just dawning on me now,
but I think you always knew
the power you have over me
the crazy things you make me do.
And the fact we have a daughter
seals us together.
Could I ever leave you alone?
You know the answer–NEVER.
So here we are
the chips lie where they fall.
Even to me still loving you
makes no sense at all.
But shaking my head
I say with a whispering sigh,
“I’ll always be your ride-or-die b–
and that’s no lie.”
© D.L. Lunsford
Dedicated to Kaylor
May you resist trees bearing forbidden fruit. 😉
While going through the hardest times of my life, I met some amazing women, each with her own story of love, heartache, and grief. I’m honored that so many of them entrusted me with their stories. Here in the section called The Voices of My Sisters I have memorialized some of them in prose and dedicated them to each of the women they represent. I hope you enjoy them and can also relate. Feel free to share your own story. –D.L. Lunsford