Letter to My Children

Dear children,

I hope when you read this you will understand

how life is filled with twists and turns

and don’t always turn out as planned;

How the world can seem kind and make sense one day

then you’re confused, lost and gone astray.

You begin with dreams as limitless as the sky,

then when they seep through your fingers

you’re asking God why–

Why am I here, and what am I meant to do?

Will I make it to the other side of what I’m going through?

Will I have my sanity and the people I love?

Can I receive God’s mercy from His heaven above?

For me, things went from sweet to sour very fast

I did a lot of things I wish I hadn’t in my past.

For a long time I could say that the way I grew up was to blame,

but pointing fingers at others won’t cover my shame.

I can’t change the things that happened to me,

but I can make a decision to be the best I can be.

And I can’t do it till I acknowledge all I’ve done,

so I’ll begin with you, my daughters and my sons.

I know that I’ve let you down

and it’s because of me, not you, that I’m not around.

See, for quite some time I’ve lived in a very dark place,

and for a while I used you to fill up in my heart that very empty space

Because God knows I wanted to be loved for so very long,

but I realize now you can’t fix in me all the things that’re wrong;

And it was never your job to make everything in my world right;

so I must stop letting life bully me and learn how to fight–

Fight for my life and the person I want to be;

Fight to make you proud again and pray you’ll forgive me.

The things I’ve done have impacted you

and hurt you in ways I never intended to.

But I thank God He was with you when I couldn’t be,

when my mind was clouded and I was a wreck emotionally.

I thank God He placed you with people who are stable,

who could love you and keep you safe when I was unable.

I trust God to stay with you while He’s still working on me.

I’m learning my lessons and will have it right eventually.

I’m a mess and I know it, but I’m giving it my all,

’cause I’m finally learning to get back up every time I fall.

Life will always be full of twists and turns

with surprises around the bend.

But if I don’t give up and keep believing

everything will be all right in the end.

Well, that’s all I have to say, so goodbye for now.

Take care of each other and use a smile to overcome a frown.

Love always,

Mom

Dedicated to Tanya.

May your heart heal and the relationships with your children be better than ever.❤

While going through the hardest times of my life, I met some amazing women, each with her own story of love, heartache, and grief. I’m honored that so many of them entrusted me with their stories. Here in the section called The Voices of My Sisters I have memorialized some of them in prose and dedicated them to each of the women they represent. I hope you enjoy them and can also relate. Feel free to share your own story. –D.L. Lunsford